Flavour N’abania: Philosopher

Continuing in my lust zeal fascination with the chunk of Awesome-made-flesh that is Flavour N’abania, I recently found out another facet of him to admire – and one more pleasing to Hub’s sensibilities than the bit I was previously obsessed journalistically concerned with (Hint: My previous obsession happens during the words Kporoko kpom kpo tom kpo and sawa sawa sawa lee, but I digress).

The philosophy I’m talking about occurs in first line of the Ashawo remix. Ala daalu ada adago – Breasts that have fallen, remain fallen. How apt! For only yesterday I was walking by the mirror in Tot’s room and noticed that my assets had depreciated in value. My shape just looked odd. So, using my hands I returned them to their original position and I found myself standing straighter, breathing better. The world was just in HD. I let them go. Black and white. Picked them up, HD. I thought to myself: WWFND? (Ten points to Gryffindor for the first person to get this one). Well, he would build the shit out of it but since breasts have no muscle, that’s moot. I could build my core muscles and back muscles so I stand differently but Flavour would still be right. Ala daalu ada will remain fallen.

So I’m doing the next best thing: Bra shopping! As soon as Tot’s done with them again, these babies are getting the best support money can buy.

For you see, ala can daa all it wants, but it’s no match for a La Perla bra. He he he, Flavour. How do you like them apples? Yes. That’s what I thought.

10 thoughts on “Flavour N’abania: Philosopher

  1. Nwunye O!!!!!! I have died and woken up again!
    I have decided, I am either getting a wet nurse, or having a reverse surgery after breastfeeding all the spawns (when I have them)….
    Thanks for bringing more meaning to Flavor’s words. Me i kukuma just sing along and enjoy the rhythm. The parts in Igbo, I attempt to sing along without understanding. So that’s what the yeye boy was saying?! God punish devil!

    1. Truth be told HD, it’s PREGNANCY that changes breasts not breastfeeding. They stretch and grow even before any milk comes in. I was a 36C. Then I went up to DD at around 5-7 months. By the time my milk came in after delivery (3-4 days later) I became a FF.
      When your milk stabilises to the baby’s requirements, the breasts settle. Until its time for weaning then it’s deflated blom-blom time!

  2. LMAO. Haaahhhhhaaaaaaaaa. I had not really listened to the lyrics of Nwa Baby until now. I was just content with watching him wind them waist and dancing along too. Go get them bras babe. I guess I would do the same when I get to that stage in my life.

    1. Yes, the boy na winsh. That waist thing is to distract you from the fact that the song is abusing women sef. I mean ashawo na ashawo because customer dey, no?
      One redeeming factor for him (ish): At the end of the song he says ‘Ala maa mma, were onu gi michaa ya’ which means ‘If (the) breasts are beautiful…’

      Huh.

      Actually, it’s too rotten to translate. You get the picture.

  3. I love the rhythm but damn! this song should be rated R..if Femi Kuti got slapped on the wrists for saying someone’s ikebe was like dunlop…then Flavor’s lyrics…hmmmmmm e nweghi m onu okwu.

    Meanwhile i dont know why i am just reading this post. it is plain hilarious. Now I’m here thinking of ala dara ada..lol.

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