- Winter in London is one season that makes me so glad I am a fat cow.
2. Teenage boys really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, stink. I passed a group of them in the aisle of a supermarket. They smelled like boiled eggs that had gone bad. I almost vomited. That is to say, I tried to vomit. It retreated deep into my gut and stayed there. Even my mess wasn’t touching that mess.
3. Looks like I inherited my mama’s skin. Not one pimple, then out pops a child and suddenly I can’t get rid of the stuff.
4. I find myself drawing closer to God. Every night, I take my clothes off in preparation for a shower, catch sight of myself in the mirror and say ‘Jesus Christ’.
5. They say boys are more difficult to wean off the breast than girls. They were not lying. I must remember to search Tot’s mouth for my missing nipple.
6. It perplexes me that I cannot fully remember ‘The Lord’s Prayer’, ‘Psalm 23’ and ‘The apostles creed’ in Igbo. I keep mixing them up.
7. I remember all the insults in Igbo though.
8. Watching an old woman washing my hair like it was a blanket today gave me pause for thought. For all of two seconds. After all, she wasn’t doing it for free.
9. Everyone is raving about Ice Prince, but I think I have a musical crush on Brymo. Bush-sounding boys are so hot. Bush-sounding boys that can sing are even better.
10. I saw two teenagers kissing in the dark of the train station, disguising the ‘piokom-piokom’ sounds their mouths made in the rumble of the approaching train. The urge to slap them passed when I thought of myself as a teen. Now I’m afraid for my unborn daughter.