OK, OK, I know I was supposed to go away…

But maaaaaannn, there is one ajo nwa here that is giving me fever o. He is just boiling my blood and I am trying to act cool as my egwuriegwu levels are supposed to have gone down now that I’m a respectable married somebody. But nna mehn, Flavour N’abania is killing me – and not softly. Umu bois don’t know the meaning of the word.

So there I was not thirty minutes ago proclaiming my love for his name which is just the BEST name of any artiste in the world EVER, when someone (@na_you_biko) says to me ‘Nwa baby, nye m ife gi’. After getting over my shock (at least buy me a plate of nkwobi first or babysit my kid. Sheesh!) I realise that those are lyrics, so I get my bum over to YouTube to check out the track.

And that’s when I get in trouble. I mean, the man is barely singing but that’s not the problem. The tune is normal and catchy, but that’s not it either. It’s that I am seriously, without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt contemplating giving him my ife. If he were standing in front of me right now, singing that damn song, maybe moving his waist a bit like a male Abriba dancer…

And to think before a month ago I was blissfully unaware of his existence. However working from home and being the primary carer for Tot means that I can no longer live in a journo bubble. Now I know the Devil is an Igbo man.

Look at the name sef: Flavour N’abania. Flavour Tonight. That is the name of that kind of Igbo man that will just finish you. Point and kill. Eat and chop bone. Drink and throway cup. If your body remains after that, it’s only by the grace of God. N’abania. It’s going to happunnn. You will get it. Chai. Olololooooo. My father, my father. Anu ndogbu adogbuo la m. This boy has killed me. Does anyone know if he went to Enugu State University of Technology? Because his kind of razzness smells ESUTy.

I’m off to tie my headscarf in the Charismatic style and drink some holy water.

13 thoughts on “OK, OK, I know I was supposed to go away…

  1. You don’t how bad i’m laughing right now. Where have u been madam? This man has been the subject of many of my illicit dreams and blog posts for some time now lol. and a huge LOL at your reaction to the “nye m ife gi!” comment. Welcome to the Flavour Fan Club!

  2. hahahaha…..chei….dis woman u have killed me……i have gone to heaven and back with lafta…..a good way to start my week and dull this nagging headache…..whew….but where have u been…..he’s been the FLAVOUR for over 4 years…..his songs are off the hook…i sing them and then catch myself and pray to God to forgive me for my words…….on a second note….i dont know if he went to ESUT but he grew up in Achala Layout…….

    1. Hmmm. Achalla Layout eh? And do his parents still live there? Does he go to see them from time to time? *Scribbling* Do you have that address? It’s for journalistic purposes, you understand.

  3. U see, these musicians will be the death of me! If it is not Flavor, then it is errrmm…Wene Mighty…see as I scatter mouth for him matter in this <a href="http://honeydame1.blogspot.com/2011/10/finally-stylish-and-versatile.html"post

    Flavor ehn! he dey give me serious Oyi!!! As I dey so, my pant ready to no n’iro! Did you see the second Adanma video…that waist-wining things ehn? O diro easy at all! **makes sense of the cross as I think of the gyrations he can do on the mat/bed/kitchen counter/against the wall*…….

    I shalll go wear my sackcloths and ashes now!
    By the way Nwunye, I love you for all ur Igbo —> English translation…With your help, I have been forming Wa(Zo)BIA on bbm, confusing my contacts with my igbo words/sentences from time to time….
    A huru m gi n’anya big time……Ezigbo!:)

    1. Obara Jisos. Hehehe! Thanks. But your ihunanya will not save you from penance. Say 10 ‘Our Fathers’ and 10 ‘Hail Marys’ for your sins. Also cut the grass behind your parish priest’s house with nothing but a razor blade.
      There. I’ve saved your soul. Don’t do it again.

  4. Hahahahahahahhahahahaaaa. I see you are also tripping for Flavour. Leave the guy for me oooo. At least you don marry. Who knows, I might just be his Adanma. :-D. The guy is hot i no go lie you. Once I’m at a gathering and I hear any of his songs esp Adanma, chai, u need to see the way i will just get up and start dancing (without sending anyborry). There’s a video of his i saw and i was mesmerized. The guy can wind waist ehnnnn no be lie. The song is something like “Baby sawale, sawa sawa sawale, something something………

  5. * So there are other people like me lusting over Flavour? Thank God* That guy is something else. My husband doesnt understand what I see in him. He says you dont understand Igbo yet you put his skits on replay. I better go for my own penance now.

    1. Tell your hubby that swag needs no translation. I mean HAS HE SEEN THE MAN MOVE? My husband’s vex is that I will spoil his own enjoyment of the guy’s music. And that’s why he hid Flavour from me. But you cannot hide fluorescent light under a basket!

  6. Hahahahhaha don’t drink too much holy water, leave some for tomorrow because am sure this is not the end of your flavourssession. lol. Flavour is definitely an ESUT product. All you married people, place your hands on your head and let me “deliver you”. Ndi mmehie!

    1. Are we supposed to close our eyes during your deliverance session as well? So that you’ll run off with Flavour m? No thanks! I will live with my Flavoursession happily!

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