I hate Chinenye

Dear Diary,

I know I usually do not write on Sunday because it is God’s day of siesta but I just had to write because I cannot talk to mummy because she will slap my face around until I can see my buttocks for even saying a boy’s name in the house. And then I will have to say ‘Hail Mary’ with the glowing chaplet she bought me even though daddy says we are not to do so because we are not Catholic people with her.

Chinenye came to school with a note from the eye doctor. They said she cannot see the board because she now has problems with her eyes, so Teacher made her sit in the back. WITH FRANK. She thinks she has sense but I have more sense than her. How come all this time I have known her she did not have any eye problem but now she had eye problem and not just that but eye problem that you can only read the board from the back of the class? Okay, I asked daddy and he said that it was called ‘Long sight’ and that I will learn about it in Integrated Science in secondary school so it is a real thing but this DOES NOT mean that Chinenye has it.

Okay, so then she came to school with the glasses and she does not even look like she has bottle eyes like I was wishing, like that boy in Primary 3C that has crutches and drools. Her glasses are shiny and and new so I know she must have gone to a real doctor and not aboki in Eke Awka. She keeps on curving her finger and pushing the glasses up by the side even though I can see that it is not falling off and I don’t know why she is doing that unless it is a sign between her and Frank because every time she does it he looks at her and smiles. He is not even hiding his face so I know he knows that I am looking at him but he doesn’t care and it is as if I have disappeared and he cannot see me. Is he not ashamed to be looking at a girl like that? Stupid boy.

I know that I am feeling jealousy and it is a sin but it is SO UNFAIR that Chinenye sat with Frank for a whole week before she brought her glasses. Now she is back on our seat but each time I try to talk to her about how stupid Frank is she starts talking about something else or reading if the teacher is not around. On Friday I even tore from my exercise book which I NEVER DO to draw her a picture of Frank with bees chasing him and he was running and he poo-pooed on himself. It was a funny cartoon as well (I know because it made me laugh) because as he was running he was shouting ‘Bees! I gonna wanna kill you! I ain’t want no stinging bees!’ but Chinenye didn’t even laugh. And then she dropped it on the floor and put her foot on top so I could not take it back. And now if mummy sees that I tore my book she will flog me and it will all be for nothing.

Don’t worry, Diary. Chinenye’s birthday is coming up and I was going to beg mummy to let me go this year when Chinenye invites me as usual then I will beg daddy for money when mummy is not around so that I can buy cake from Den’s Cook for her birthday. I will buy the biggest cake that Chinenye has ever seen and Frank will know that I am the kindest friend Chinenye has ever had and he will like me. And I will wear that yellow and white dress that my godmother in Auckland bought me because nobody else will have anything like it and Frank will see that I am civilized and not like all of them (I hope Ebere Nnemurumkuja will not be there. He looks like the kind of person that will pour Fanta on my dress because he is wicked and then mummy will flog me for not behaving like a lady and getting stains on my dress. Anyway, why would Chinenye invite him? They are not friends and Ebere smells like a goat. The whole place will be smelling goaty-goaty when he leaves).

I feel better now. Writing things always makes me feel better but I mustn’t be too long or mummy will ask me to show her what I have written so she can edit me. She says the Volume One of my short story collection must be published next year. I like this. But sometimes when I am writing for mummy it is not always nice like now. It makes me tired but I know that when my book is published with my picture and everything, I will be happy again and Frank will see that I am intelligent…

No, I don’t care about Frank. He pretends not to see me. He is a scallywag. And why does Chinenye never want to talk about him now? She is a nincompoop. Do you think they are doing boyfriend and girlfriend? If so I MUST CATCH THEM.

But let the Chinenye’s birthday be coming first. I will have to start reminding mummy from now to please bring out the dress from her trunk. She said I could have it when I have been a good girl and can reach the mark she made on the wall of the library. I measured myself against it yesterday. I am there now.

And of course, I am always a good girl.


3 thoughts on “I hate Chinenye

  1. lol……aboki in eke awka……ahh good old Den’s cook…..lol…i’m an insider…….Good story…….got me drooling for more

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