So, how do you snag an Igbo guy?

You won’t believe how many times I get asked this question.

A lot of people are afraid to give race/ethnicity as part of their search criteria. In fact just this evening a friend mentioned ‘Igbo’ as her number one preference, before hastily adding “But I don’t like to say so in front of people before they say I am being tribalistic.” Which made me wonder how she was supposed to find someone if she couldn’t even vocalise her choice outside herself.

Don’t get me wrong, I have dated outside my ethnic group and even outside my race. I am an equal opportunities dater and don’t see what the big deal is – never have. But as it happens, I have ended up marrying an Igbo guy, which is why I am suddenly this go-to person for single girlfriends. And their friends. And whatever chick I happen to meet at any event I attend with my husband on this side of the world who realises that we’re both from the same ethnic group (apparently a rarity among diasporan relationships. Who knew?)

So, how do you snag an Igbo guy?

Well, you have to date him first. Don’t you?

Which is where I come in.

11 thoughts on “So, how do you snag an Igbo guy?

  1. Its funny that you would mention the rarity of same-ethnicity couples in the diaspora because all the married Yoruba people i know (that were raised in Naija rather than Yankee) are married to other Yoruba people. But my fellow Igbo people, i only know a handful that are married to or even date other Igbos, including some my own relations.

    1. Hmmmm…I see. I suppose if we were to turn it into a positive thing, it means that Igbos are one of the least discriminating among the ethnic groups in Nigeria. Although, some people think that it is this very reason that has caused Igbo people to lose centuries or history and culture…this ability we have to be fully absorbed into other people’s way of doing things. What do you think?

      1. I don’t know. All i can say is, even if you want to marry outside your ethnicity (love is blind afterall), you should still be willing to pass down your culture to your kids. Thats the real issue. People not teaching their kids about their heritage (or even worse, shunning it themselves so they can “fit in”). It saddens me.

      2. Good point. But we have to remember that culture means different things to different people, and the reason culture evolves is because people choose which bits are important to them. If they choose to abandon what we see universally as ‘Culture’ then it’s their business.
        I’ve seen cases where the parents are not interested and their children – either as a result or because it’s their personality or they in turn have children of their own and wish suddenly to have ‘roots’ – become very interested even going as far as returning to live in the land of their fathers.
        Different strokes for different folks. Let’s not forget that as ndi Igbo, our traditions have not been kind to everyone. This was one reason why ndi ala bekee were able to have a foothold and eventually take over our people.

    1. Why, thank you for the compliment. It’s not hooking Igbo people up that’s the issue, it’s success rate isn’t it?

  2. Awww! I’m totally inspired! I spent the whole morning sending out the link to your blog to my sisters and friends- I think it’s great. You write beautifully and your sense of humor is sterling!

    I was almost ashamed when I scrolled down to the post that indicated that you ARE married to an Igbo guy and identified the feeling I had as relief though, I can’t explain why I should be relieved. I guess I was happy that after all you had “endured” with the menfolk, there was one that was up to scratch!๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thanks for the PR – and the compliments! Believe me, I have kissed frogs of all ethnic groups/races but that one eh…in fact, let’s not go there. Enjoy reading!

  3. And I finally came all the way to your 1st post! Thanks for taking up an hr of my time๐Ÿ™‚ LOL loved reading all of them.

    I so agree. I so happen to marry an Igbo man, so now random aunties and Igbo women see me as the go to person, to help sort out their daughters! See me see wahala! They dont seem to realize I dated a non naija for over 5 years abi was it 7 sef (last 2 we were in denial LOL), and I talked to yet even more non Igbo guys, and it just so happened that the guy I married was an Igbo man that my dad loved…oxymoron! I love my husband, who so happens to be Igbo, and yes I love my culture, and yes its good that he knows the culture, for the most part. Anyway as a whole Ada daddy, I had to avoid Omata sounding dudes, phewwww! I would rather marry someone from Antarctica than an Omata man o! Omata man=Igbo to the 10000000000000th power!!! Too much of anything can be toxic!!

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