Tag Archives: Nigeria

Hot off the press: Half of a Yellow Sun starts filming

Chiwetel Ejiofor and Thandie Newton

I cannot tell you how terribly pleased I am to discover that I have eyes and ears inside the film crew of Half of a Yellow Sun. So, I will try to bring you all the juicy details as fast as I can over the next few weeks and months.

It is Day 2 of filming in Calabar (Day 1 being Friday) where they are ‘shooting all the post-1967 scenes’. My source does not yet know whether any filming will be done in Nsukka where the book is set.

However all the main stars have arrived: Chiwetel Ejiofor as Odenigbo, Thandie Newton as Olanna, Anika Noni Rose as Kainene and John Boyega as Ugwu. How terribly exciting. (Yes, I am excited. Sue me.)

Anika Noni Rose

John Boyega

Does Nollywood hate women?

We’ve all seen the movies. If you haven’t, I can tell you right now: It’s mostly always the woman.

It doesn’t matter what the film is; Action, Drama, Comedy, Thriller, Horror…it’s the woman.

Let’s consider this scenario: Boy and girl have been going out for years, boy gets rich and dumps girl in the most humiliating way possible, girl – previously spending all her finances on boy – becomes destitute. Girl turns to her late father’s brother – who incidentally ‘inherited’ all her father’s property because there is no heir – for help, uncle rejects her, girl lives on the street. After a while, girl gets rescued by random guy who takes her in and gives her everything, random guy proposes to girl after she scrubs the grime off her face in popular Cinderella move and reveals herself to be beautiful (even though at the time she was supposed to be living on the streets, she still had a french manicure which cost her N3,000 and it’s a nail wrap so there is NO WAY she was going to take them off just to shoot a stupid street scene. After all she has just agreed to lie down in a pile of rubbish and should that not be enough? Mr Director biko shoot around it now.)

Just as girl is getting used to the idea of spending the rest of her life with random guy, just as she is learning to love him, boy comes back with his tail between his legs after losing his fortunes to gold digger chick , begs her forgiveness for being a total cad, girl falls back into his arms. (Parts 1-4)

Boy dies and leaves girl (now woman) a widow with three children and she has to go through cruel widowhood rites, her daughter is almost raped by Uncle and her son joins a gang of marauders and is shot, and woman in addition to losing her husband is arrested on charges of prostitution and sent to court. (Parts 5 – 8)

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When the going is good and smooth…

Somebody just made my day.

Last week when I wrote my Nostalgia post, I was in such a mood that memories were flooding all over me. I remembered this one time that I was eating some cold paw-paw cubes straight from the fridge, sitting in the middle of the living room in my vest and pants. I had come back from school and had lunch and it was one of those rare times that all of my one million siblings were no where to be found. This song came on:

I can never hear it without thinking about eating some cold paw paw on a hot afternoon.

I wondered last week what the name of the artist was and what the song was called and whether I could find it on mp3. Then life called and I forgot all about it.

Well, today I wonder no more for I have just been sent the music WITHOUT even asking for it or even wondering aloud. Just my brainwaves bouncing around the cosmos and I have been rewarded. Sometimes, the universe amazes me. There are no coincidences, you know?

Thank you Obioma Chikwendu.

Nostalgia: Why I can’t go ‘home’ again.

I remember going to our hometown from Awka.

My father, bless him, was always excited on these trips. He would enchant us with stories of walking long distances in bare feet to fetch water and swimming in rivers, the games they played along the way, the palm kernels he collected, shelled and sold for pocket money. Sometimes there was a new story and at other times it was simply a rehash of ones we had heard many times before. His voice pitched in the juiciest parts of the story, he swivelled his head to ensure we were listening to every word. My mother would cut him off with a reminder to keep his eyes on the road.

These days I know the journey took all of 45 mins to an hour tops, but it seemed much longer then, especially when we got stuck in Onitsha traffic.

I passed the time watching for shapes in the clouds; here a rabbit, there an elephant’s head, and God’s hand waving. Sometimes, they just reminded me of pounded yam made from the newest, whitest tubers, the kind we ate during New Yam festivals. My stomach would grumble and I would focus on hawkers tapping on the windows of our car and take the deep breath needed to interrupt my father.

My mother always bought sensible things like loaves of bread and bunches of bananas with their accompanying groundnut parcels for people in the village. If the traffic jam was particularly bad, we could have some Gala to stave off hunger. There were always sweating bottles of water in the car which had started out the journey a little more than cylinders of ice. We weren’t allowed to have the ‘omiyo-omiyo!’ sweets that their sellers announced with piercing whistles.

Soon, we would leave the bottleneck behind, my father speeding to make up for lost time. We were allowed a respite from trapped air behind windows wound up to dissuade theft, my mother resting her fingers from clicking the air conditioner on and off.

The breeze would lift the hairs on my arms and make me smile. There was always a thick liquid sliding down my arm from having whichever sister was near me at the time resting on my shoulder; I never slept in cars. I didn’t mind the saliva by then. My mind was on the one thing which my dad never failed to get us: a local snack from his childhood. The hawkers sold it straight from the fire in front of the failed airport leading to the Igwe’s palace in our hometown.

He called it ‘Ie-iee’. They were the larvae of palm tree beetles roasted over a wood fire.

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Compared to other nations, you’re relatively young. Don’t worry, you can still get it right, it’s not too late!

One love.