Category Archives: Other people’s posts

‘You are the Iron of my Bra’: An Igbo love song by Chigul Omeruah

I have not five minutes ago been made aware of the comedic talent of this person, who goes by the name of Chigul Omeruah on YouTube. I watched her ‘Gus-ip’ round-up of the Gulder Ultimate Search competition, a Nigerian show sponsored by Gulder beer that is a cross between ‘Survivor’ and ‘I’m A Celebrity’ from what I have heard. I laughed. Then I went on YouTube and stuck gold. Maybe I find her so funny because of her ability to improvise, her gift for observation – we all know someone, an ‘aunty’ who sounds or acts like she does. Maybe it’s just because she sounds like she’s a crazy Igbo girl which is right up my street.

Or maybe it’s that catch-phrase: Ngwa byeeee! I mean we all say it, especially at the end of phone conversations but somehow she’s just made it hers.

You watch the video below and decide. I’m off to watch some more myself, in a rather uncharacteristic fashion. Ngwa byeeeeee.

(I am so getting that printed on a t-shirt.)

Update: I thought this one deserved to be seen so I tagged it on.

Blogger of the month: Sugabelly

Sugabelly

I came across this young lady when I was looking to have something illustrated for my former blog. I forgot all about her blog when the project fell through but recently I have taken up with her blog again.   I envy her boldness and vulnerability online. I may be outspoken in person but it is much harder to be open in this virtual space when you don’t know who is judging you.

Anyway, below is just one of the reasons why I (sometimes, grudgingly) admire her.

Now how can a group of people with such rich cultures feel empty culturally? And what has this got to do with religion? Let me explain.

Nigerians (at least most of us in the Southern half) embraced Christianity. Unfortunately, the people that they learned Christianity from were a group of small-minded pricks* who taught them that anything even remotely connected to their culture was evil and should be shunned. (Lol, shun the non-believer). These idiots even went so far as to force new converts to take Israeli-European names like Joshua, Joseph, Mary, etc. As if our own names were not good enough, leading to the current situation of Nigerians with stupid-as-fuck-English/European/Israeli names e.g. Polycarp. Really? You really want your child to be known as Polycarp? What the fuck happened to good old Ekpeyong???? (Don’t even get me started about the olodo of a woman that punished her daughter with the name “Queen Elizabeth”) And even when they no longer explicitly forced us to change our names, the drama mellowed into an ungodly proliferation of Chi- and Chukwu- names. [If I had one kobo for every Igbo person who has a Chi or a Chukwu in their name, Bill Gates wouldn't be able to tell me shit]

(Note, Europeans got to name their children a whole variety of European names that had nothing to do with Christianity and were even sometimes PAGAN names – Diana for example – but nobody ever told them that if the name wasn’t Christian they couldn’t have it, yet Nigerians were forced to give up our own names and answer theirs)

But I disgress.

Back to what I was saying. These “Christians” in Nigeria do have cultures, very rich, amazing, varied, super cool cultures, but they are AFRAID to embrace them because they feel that by doing so they are somehow aligning themselves with the devil. The problem is, humans NEED culture. We really do. We need to feel like we belong to a group and that group has certain norms, rituals, and habits that set it apart and we belong to it. This is the first problem these people face.

Click here or on the photo to read the rest of this well-written entry. It is a bit long though, but no less interesting for it.

She’s also a wicked illustrator. I am currently reading her ‘The 10 People You Meet in Nigeria’  illustrated series. This is her drawing of an Aristo:

Update: Just found out this series was featured in The Africa Report magazine of November 2012.

Japanese chef cuts off genitals and serves as fine dining.

Mao Sugiyama resting after his ‘procedure’.

Story from Vera Ezimora here.

Now that you’re done, say it with me: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

For those that were complaining when I told of my fondness for palm tree larvae, tell me which you’d prefer, some man’s nkilinka amu or my beloved, nutritious larvae?

I rest my case.

Weekend Ramblings: Boys, boys, boys.

This video brought you from here. To quote the author “You can take the boy out of the village, but you cannot take the village out of the boy.”

And another thing, Wizkid really creeps me out. Oh, it’s not him per say, it’s what he represents. I feel the same way about Justin Beiber. Before that it was Jerome Childers.

There is just something about small boys – and by small, I mean young - chyking older girls/women that really, really  gets my goat. I cannot explain it. It’s not just them trying it on with older women, it’s the singing about what I consider ‘adult subject matters’ or acting older than their ages in that particular field. I see them doing it and I want to slap them so hard.

With that in mind, you’ll understand why this sketch sending up Wizkid is one of my absolute favourites. I usually despair of the sameness of Nigerian comedy (Ethnic group stereotypes, rich/poor jokes, drunk guy jokes) but this is so spot on that you can tell Tee-A – whom I had never heard of before I watched this show – is an artist. He actually studies his subjects not just physically, but mentally too. It’s so nuanced…ah, just watch it. Watch it to the very end.

GRRRR!!!! I just realised this is not the full thing and I couldn’t find it anywhere. I won’t spoil it for you in case you do find it but if I don’t by Friday, I’ll tell you what happens in the end.